Thursday, June 30, 2011

Life and Loss...

I've been quiet on the artistic front lately. This past weekend, at just shy of twelve weeks pregnant, my husband and I found out that I had miscarried. It's been quite an emotional blow to the both of us.
The other night I picked up my sketch pad and pencil and just started doodling...the result was the image you see above. Now, usually life's many strong and emotionally charged moments bring me incredible, calming, therapeutic inspiration, but this was a much more painful experience.
The moment I laid the pencil down and really took in what I had just drawn, I burst into tears.

For me, art has always been therapeutic. It helps me heal the pain, define the frustrations, solve problems, revel in my happiness. But, I have never had such a simple drawing cut right through everything and feel like the very image of my emotions.
It was a very raw and powerful experience...and it scared the crap out of me.
There I was, thinking I had a handle on things, and a few minutes with a pencil and paper, proved that I still had a lot of healing to do.

To be completely honest, I've been terrified to pick up a pencil since. But, somewhere in the back of my mind, there is a little voice telling me, "go for it...let it all out".

So, it may be a while before I'll be jumping back into the work that I love to do, but I think I'm going to take some time to explore these emotions and see where they take me artistically.
It may not be an easy place, but I think it's a journey I need to take.

Sending all my love out to you, my readers and hoping everyone can bear with me on this slight creative detour.

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